I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
