its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
