if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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