yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
My penis needs a shock collar
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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