I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
