I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Pooping to opera.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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