Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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