I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
