somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Randomize
