What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize