Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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