We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize