Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
