Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
another moral hangover. fuck.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
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