I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
someone owes me an orgasm
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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