yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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