you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
