she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Will exercising make me less horny?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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