I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Found your dick twin last night
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
