just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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