I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
