You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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