what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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