oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
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Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
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and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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