he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
