okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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