Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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