The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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