508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
