You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
