theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
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She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
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I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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