This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
