I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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