if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
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