i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
