I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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