Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
