I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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