Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
