my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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