video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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