He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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