One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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