Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
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