i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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