Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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