I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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