Porn is love you can see.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
