Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
