I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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