last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i would one night stand the shit outta him
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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