Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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