When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
