How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
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So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
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Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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