When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
