the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
